Entry 14

Dear Reader,

“What was it like?” That’s the question opened up in the last entry. What is it like to go through a mental health crisis with a loved one?

As I begin to answer, it’s easier to start with the dragon.

Agonizing. Waiting.

Those two words leaped into my mind at the question. That’s what it’s like.

No quick fixes. No “better in the morning”s. No “take this and you’ll feel better”s. Medications for mental illness don’t work like that. They are slow and the brain is complicated. For Mr. B and I, we waited 8 weeks. (More, if you count the time it takes to re-establish normal life again afterwards.) That how long it took for the meds to take full effect and for Mr. B to feel stable again. Symptoms slowly, slowly receded; flaring up right to last day of 8 weeks. Symptoms such as paranoia, delusional thinking, high levels of anxiety, trouble sleeping, inability to focus or handle conversation, not to mention the unpleasant side effects of coming back onto the meds.

The difficulties I went through can’t even compare to Mr. B’s suffering during that time. He’s the strongest man I know; I love and admire him dearly for it!

But anyway, I’ve touched on the waiting. That’s easier to talk about than the other one — the agonizing.

Entry 14

Entry 007

Dear Reader,

It’s Friday, August 8, 2015 at 6:56pm.

By this time last week, Mr. B was delusional. He could still tell the difference between the delusions and reality. But within 24 hours, on Saturday night, he was gone. His short term memory, his ability to trust others, follow conversations, and perceive his need for food, water, or rest was gone by Sunday morning. It happened that fast.

I marvel at the goodness of God that Mr. B took his meds again on Sunday afternoon. People told me a bipolar episode can happen fast — especially the manic ones. (Depressive ones, thankfully, set in a little slower and are easier to respond too.) I barely had time to wrap my mind around what was going on. In 24 hours, my precious Mr. B crashed and burned.

Now, he’s waving at me through the window, smiling, happily watering his plants, blowing me smooches. How I love him! How glad I am to be able to have a conversation with him! Though to him, he’s never left, but to me I’m glad he’s back. Mr. B is on the mend.

Thank you, Jesus, that because of You even an episode with bipolar is not the end of the world.

Entry 007